News at a Glance

There’s been a lot of news about us gays as of late…

ILLUSTRATION: Gay MarriageCongratulations to New Mexico and Utah for becoming the 17th and 18th states to legalize same-sex marriage.

Yup, that’s right – it took 17 other states to legalize same-sex marriage before the state with the most practicing polygamists decided they’d jump on the bandwagon of deviancy and say okay to the gay. I wonder if this means if I move there I can get married to multiple women?

Unfortunately it doesn’t seem my home state will be legalizing it any time soon, what with their creation of ‘rape insurance’ and all. What? You didn’t hear?

Yes, Michigan has become the latest state to require women to purchase ‘abortion insurance’ as abortions will no ku-xlargelonger be covered under a standard policy. So either you purchase a ‘rape rider’ or plan ahead for the next time you’ll be sexually assaulted and buy some right before it happens. Although if you dress like you’re asking for it, the insurance company might decline coverage based on a pre-existing condition of ‘slut’.

Unfortunately, Michigan is not the first (nor probably is it the last) state to require women to purchase separate coverage. Eight other states offer no coverage for abortions in a general policy. Out of those eight states, just one, Utah (another surprise), offers an exception for victims of sexual assault.

So in other words, a lot of lawmakers feel that if you are sexually assaulted and end up pregnant because of it, you are not a victim, but a special woman who gets to carry a gift from God.

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Also in news, Phil Robertson, one of the bearded rednecks from ‘Duck Dynasty’ on A&E said some stupid shit about a-e_network_logohomosexuals and was yanked from the show. Now the rest of his bearded clan are threatening to leave.

I hope they do.

Good ole Phil was doing an interview for GQ when he commented (I’m paraphrasing) about homosexuality, saying one could ‘morph it out’ to bestiality and sleeping with multiple women. So in other words:

Homosexuality => Bestiality => Whores => Downfall of Mankind

Now, I understand that according to some, all sin is equal in the eyes of God. But how is honest, true love between two consenting adults a sin? Somehow I don’t think so…especially since sin affects others. My homosexuality affects no one. It doesn’t take away anyone else’s freedoms.

I’m really surprised by all the outrage at A&E’s move to suspend him…

You know, because celebrities shouldn’t ever be held responsible for their actions when they say  or do something stupid…

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Pussy_Riot_by_Igor_MukhinAnd Russia, in a show of…well, I don’t know what to call it…announced it will be releasing the imprisoned members of Pussy Riot and Greenpeace.

This is, of course, a move to clear out the prisons in time for the Sochi Olympics, when they will be refilling the prisons with homosexuals and their supporters.

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On a related note, Obama responded to Russia with a giant ‘Fuck You’ by choosing three openly gay athletes to Sochi 2014 protestrepresent the United States in the Winter Olympics, and has decided not to attend the Olympics, snubbing Putin’s invitation to come and sit next to him. I hope Putin’s nose doesn’t get too bent out of shape…

 

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