Does that even exist anymore? Sure, we hear about it – the unconditional love of Romeo and Juliet. But that’s about it. Everything else in our lives comes with conditions. Some circumstance or rule preventing us from doing what we like or getting what we feel we deserve.
It’s bad enough that companies bring down conditions upon us when we buy their goods and use their services. And I do understand where conditions are needed. Otherwise there are those out there who would take full advantage of the situation.
However, when did support for one another become conditional? I follow George Takei on Facebook, and every year for Halloween he has a costume contest. Well, he received a message from a fan and posted it on his page.
The message was from a mother whose youngest child came out to her as transgender. He dressed as a ‘girl’ for Halloween and in a show of support, his older sister dressed as a ‘boy’. It really was a heartwarming message of unconditional love from a parent to a child.
Of course, someone had to go and fuck it all up.
Among the comments left by someone I can only define as an internet troll, he said “I’m all for gay rights, but…”. No, no you’re not ‘all for’ supporting us. When you say you’re ‘all for’ something, that means you support it unconditionally, unwaveringly. Don’t throw that ‘but’ in there, for it makes you look like an ass. You’re not ‘all for gay rights’ if it comes with conditions. I see that too often, that half-hearted support, where the only reason someone says they support a cause is because it’s deemed ‘trendy’ to do so.
If you’re going to support a cause, don’t offer it up with conditions. That’s like telling your lesbian daughter that you support her, but only if she marries a man. That’s like saying that you support equality, but not if it infringes upon your rights. It’s like prefacing a remark with “Don’t take this the wrong way…”. If you have to start out a statement with those words, you obviously realize that what you have to say could be taken offensively. Just say it. I’d rather know what you truly think than for you to try and cushion the blow by offering some half-assed apology before offering up your opinion.
Don’t tiptoe around with your beliefs. Don’t walk on eggshells, cradling your opinion, afraid to present it because you have a delicate ego, or you’re concerned about hurting others. Yes, you shouldn’t hurt other people intentionally, but you shouldn’t have to withhold your opinion either. Just be prepared for the backlash from the opinions of others.
What do you support? What do you believe in? More importantly, how do you support? With one tentative foot in? Is it unconditional support? Or are you an ‘all for…but’ kind of person?
If you are, I don’t want your support. Because if I need to lean on you, are you going to provide a condition before I can turn to you? I’d rather go it alone.