So I thought I’d do something a bit off the beaten path for me. I have a tendency to stay up late, and with that, comes late night television. And with late night television comes odd commercials – infomercials that don’t make sense, commercials with creepy actors, and commercials for odd and off the wall products.
And, without further ado, here are my top 12 weirdest commercials:
12. The Air Curler – The device reminds me of something the nurses used to measure my urine output when I was in the hospital. At 0:04, you find out how dangerous curling irons are for the uncoordinated. Basically, you have a product that creates a curled, albeit tangled mass, of hair.
Why is it as I watch this I keep waiting for the woman to get her hair sucked into the dryer? Kind of like Beyonce’s mishap during her concert recently.
11. The Hawaii Chair – The interviews at ‘work’ are fantastic. 27 seconds into the infomercial, we get to watch some poor woman nearly get thrown off her chair. Keep an eye on her leg placement while she talks. She’s literally holding on for dear life. At 50 seconds in, she makes a claim that is sure to make you laugh. Although I’m sure you’ll be laughing the entire way through the commercial. I kinda wonder how much they made on this, and why the hell it’s called the ‘Hawaii Chair’. They certainly don’t look like any Hula dancers I’ve ever seen.
10. The Snuggie – Because, you know, standard blankets are far to complicated for the average Jane. Everyone wants to keep warm, but a blanket just isn’t enough, despite the fact that for hundreds of years, potentially thousands, a blanket has worked just fine. I bet if the Romans had the Snuggie, they would have conquered the world.
I got a tan Snuggie once. I put it on, and I believe that the creators of the Snuggie are actually recruiting for a cult. You put that on, and you automatically look like a Druid.
9. Chillow – Seriously, if I had the same issue with sweat as the people in this commercial do, I would be making an appointment with my endocrinologist to see about a glandular problem. At 1:14 you get to see a man enjoy his Chillow a bit too much.
I guess we just don’t have the time to flip our pillows over anymore. I hope none of these people get Snuggies for Christmas. That would be a huge waste.
8. The Wunder Boner – I checked. This is for real. While the concept is actually pretty ingenious, the name was obviously not well thought out. Or was it? I wunder if the sales for this product were high? Or was releasing the product a boner move? (Ha ha! See what I did there?)
7. Cougar Life Commercial – I’m not sure what’s most disturbing about this commercial – their theme song, the fact that all the women they’re showing in the commercial appear to be my age (I’m certainly not a Cougar), or the ‘growl’ at the end of it all.
I initially saw this commercial on Adult Swim on Cartoon Network. I thought it was a joke. Well, color me disgusted…
6. Evian Roller Babies Commercial – Okay, so this isn’t as creepy as the others, but I find any commercials portraying babies doing things they normally wouldn’t, like a triple salchow, as particularly unsettling. That and the fact that you have to sit through the entire creepiness in order to figure out what the hell the product is.
5. Canon “Little Big Shots” Commercial – Again, creepy babies. This one is higher up on the list, however, because as time goes on, technology improves, and we end up with creepy babies that move more like real adults.
Seriously, these babies look so creepy real that I want to punch them in the face.
4. The Shake Weight (Men’s ad) – I only posted the men’s ad of the Shake Weight, mostly because of the reactions like the ones at 11 seconds and 14 seconds. This one is self explanatory.
3. The Tiddy Bear – Any company that has to spell out their product name should probably rethink the name of said product. Oh wait…Oh I see what you did there – Tiddy Bear…and it sits on the woman’s bosom…Gee, that play on words totally went over my head.
I also find it incredibly amusing that no matter how often the product name is displayed on the screen, my ears automatically hear the obvious.
2. The Comfort Wipe – Yup. Toilet paper on a stick. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve pooped on my finger because I had a clump of wadded up toilet paper in my hand. You know, sometimes the logistics of cleaning yourself after a giant crap is just too much to deal with.
I do like the fact that they make a point of telling us the wand is a whopping 18 inches long, just in case your ass happens to be dragging on the floor.
Man, I don’t know what they did back in the 1800’s without the Comfort Wipe…
1. The UroClub – This is the moment you’ve been waiting for. The number one craziest infomercial, the UroClub. I gotta say, this is the one reason I’ve never played golf. I’m terrified I’m going to have to pee on the course, so I’ve just stayed away.
I’d hate to mistake the UroClub for an actual driver while I’m on the course, especially if I’ve been consuming beer while golfing. You might end up with more than you bargained for when you tee off on the 9th hole.
17 seconds in, you get to see how truly ‘discreet’ this product is. Oh, and the voice over is pretty fantastic.